23 Weeks- Stay at Home Mommy???

This has been an interesting and eventful week for our family.  Those of you who have known me for a while, know that I have had a healthy focus on my career in financial services for the last 12 years.  (Healthy meaning not obsessed with it, but focused and driven to do well.)  I have always known that my industry is "an old boys club" but honestly, I have rarely seen the effects of it personally.  Sure, at times there were inappropriate jokes and comments but that's just part of being a woman...you roll with it, turn a blind eye and it doesn't become an issue. You move forward. I always felt like I was provided ample opportunity to succeed, and keep my career moving forward and truly enjoyed my industry.  I had assumed that these opportunities would continue and that even when I planned on having a family, I would continue working and moving forward in my career.

It wasn't until I became pregnant, that I realized that my being a woman was actually still considered a liability or an inconvenience for the people that I work with.  At that point, I had been a full-time consultant with company that provides private placement insurance and investment products for over a year.  My boss had been pushing to hire me on as a full-time employee for the last 6 months.  By November,  I had completed the interview, and application process.  In early December, I was told that we were just waiting on the final word from HR.  Then, I screwed up.  I was honest, and I didn't want to enter into employment without disclosing something very important- I was pregnant.  The next day, I was told that they were no longer interested in moving forward with the hiring process.  Things like, "well, you probably won't want to come back", "you are going to be distracted by your pregnancy and new baby" and "you clearly aren't the bread winner in your family, so I am sure you will be fine" were part of this conversation.

I was devastated, but I also considered that there might be some truth in my not wanting to come back full time right after the baby was born and that when I was ready, I was sure they would find a spot for me.  I felt that I had proven myself to be a valuable asset, and had this reinforced numerous ways by the organization.   In the mean time,  I was told I could continue consulting for as long as I wanted to.  When I told people the situation, I made excuses for my boss and pretended that I wasn't horrified that my pregnancy had been used as an excuse not to hire me.

Until this week...on Tuesday I was told that they hired a full-time, male employee (so someone who obviously can't get pregnant) to replace me.  I am welcome to come back do project manager work, as needed, but I am no longer needed on a day to day basis.  Needless to say, I was shocked, angry and completely disillusioned not just with this company, but with the all the progress that I thought we had made in terms of treating women fairly in the work place.  While there are obvious moral, and probably legal issues with this situation I am not going to dwell on it.

As of today, I am moving on and starting a new chapter in my life.  I will not resent the fact that the decision to be a stay at home mother was made for me by the old boys club, but rather look forward to all of the little milestones that I will be able to enjoy by being at home with my husband and new baby.  Pregnancy has been one of the most eye opening and amazing experiences of my life.  I am just going to sit back and rest through the remainder of it and enjoy every little kick, marvel at how my belly and body are growing and changing, enjoy the last few months of it just being Todd and I and plan for the arrival of baby boy DeCook!

Here we are at 23 weeks: